You 2.0: How to design your next self

Your future self is not the same person you are right now. So do you like where you're headed?

Are you being your preferred self? Here's a fun 1-minute process to help you work that out (this is an adapted version of an exercise from “Positive Identities” by Margarita Tarragona).

Follow these steps with the first thoughts that come to mind (no sophistication required here):

1. Think of a song or a piece of music you like that has been performed by at least two artists or bands, and make a note of the original artist + one covering artist.

2. How are the two versions of this song different and which do you prefer?

3. What do you most appreciate about your preferred version?

4. Think of a movie that has been remade at least once and make a note of either the two directors or the different stars, just so you have a clear idea of the two versions.

5. How do these two versions vary, and which is your favourite?

6. What do you most appreciate about your preferred version?

Before I ask the final, crucial question in this series, let me explain why I'm talking about this. 

We are self-creators

Just like a song or a movie that is remade over and over again, our personalities also come in multiple editions. We are constantly rewriting and overwriting past versions of our selves with updated, evolved creations. This is really important to remember because it's easy to notice a trait that we don't like and feel shame at being stuck with some kind of permanent flaw, which is rarely true. 

Think back to who you were ten years ago and notice the image that springs to mind, and the adjectives you'd use to describe that person. Take a moment with this. Take your eyes off the screen and close them if you like. Then, compare that person to who you are now. Are they exactly the same? I'd be very surprised if you said they were. And yet, when we think forward to the future, we do tend to imagine our future self to be pretty much exactly who we are right now, which is to say that we don't expect this kind of change to take place even though we all have overwhelming evidence that it does. 

So, come back to your chosen song and movie. Did you prefer the remake or the original? Please pop your answer to this question in the comments – I'd love to get an idea of that ratio because it will be mixed. And this means, of course, there's no guarantee that our current remade selves are preferable to past versions, although I'd hope that to be the case for most of us. 

The point here is that we are going to change in the future, regardless of whether we think we want or need to right now. And there's a much bigger chance of us developing a version we like if we involve ourselves consciously – at least a little bit – at the design stage. Which we absolutely can do. 

This is NOT some toxic call for self-improvement

This isn't about scrapping who we are now, and trading that person in for a better – totally different – model. Because I just don't think that's helpful. 

Instead, I’d like to finish this exercise with two questions that I find both more practical and magical. 

7. What are the parts of yourself that exist in your current version that you like the most? You might think of personality traits, abilities, habits, behaviours, you name it. 

8. Imagine your next version of self as if based on those parts of the current you. What does that person look like? And if you like them, what do you need to do to make sure that's the way you're headed? 

I’ll leave the rest to you. As always, I hope this helps and I’d love to hear your thoughts and reflections in the comments. 

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Thank you for reading!

We’re Hazel (ex boxer, therapist and author) and Ellie (ex psychology science writer). We left our jobs to build an interactive narrative app for self-awareness and emotion regulation (Betwixt), which you can try on Android here and on iOS here.

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