I will hold this whole idea front of mind as I pay attention to how I’m going about my day.
I feel stuck with a body symptom that, while it has to be mechanically dealt with of course, is the result of a holding pattern I’m working to release. I’ve been able to identify the pattern but still catch myself asking why is this happening!
I never use Why questions and rarely What questions. I do find I dissociate very quickly, so I try to describe the situation before that happens. If I can do that, then useful questions happen, usually How.
Thank you for this. I was somewhat shocked by the self-critical assumptions in the last two examples: “what did I do wrong?” and “what’s wrong with me?” As if I need “fixing”, which is hardly a constructive or positive way to approach these feelings.
Yes, exactly. And the worst part is that for many of us these questions are an automatic, knee-jerk reaction. We don't even think about them. They just pop into our heads and frame the conversations we have with ourselves in a self-accusatory way, and we don't even notice.
Damn this is excellent, thank you!
I will hold this whole idea front of mind as I pay attention to how I’m going about my day.
I feel stuck with a body symptom that, while it has to be mechanically dealt with of course, is the result of a holding pattern I’m working to release. I’ve been able to identify the pattern but still catch myself asking why is this happening!
I never use Why questions and rarely What questions. I do find I dissociate very quickly, so I try to describe the situation before that happens. If I can do that, then useful questions happen, usually How.
It's amazing that you can do this. Have you always done it or is it a skill you acquired?
It's definitely an acquired skill. I think it comes from being non verbal when I was younger though. So I am trying to describe a scene am seeing.
Thank you for this. I was somewhat shocked by the self-critical assumptions in the last two examples: “what did I do wrong?” and “what’s wrong with me?” As if I need “fixing”, which is hardly a constructive or positive way to approach these feelings.
Yes, exactly. And the worst part is that for many of us these questions are an automatic, knee-jerk reaction. We don't even think about them. They just pop into our heads and frame the conversations we have with ourselves in a self-accusatory way, and we don't even notice.
Omg yes! I'm so guilty of using why and I send myself into circles.
Oh the "joys" of having an overactive self-consciousness!