Thank you so much for this. I remember the exact moment I realized that my anxiety was not "healthy" when I was sharing my thoughts to a boyfriend one day and he looked at me with confusion and said, "Your brain sounds exhausting". I realized that even as a kid I had an obsession with doing everything right, being strong (I broke a wrist once without realizing it because of the shock, and played soccer for an hour before admitting I needed to go to the hospital).
However, I never thought of myself as mentally ill up until that point. I thought I'd feel better and that if I hadn't diagnosed it, I would've spontaneously combusted one day. Though it's true that some things make more sense now that I recognize what it is (stomach pain seemingly out of nowhere, feeling my brain shut off in crowded places, crying the moment someone asks if I'm okay), I don't feel better. I feel like there's something to fix. Instead of a quirky personality trait, I now have a medical condition that I need to take accountability for, find rhe right drug and/or therapist for, and upend my lifestyle with routine meditation, yoga, workouts, journaling, etc. for.
All that's to say that making your illness or condition a defining part of who you are does not seem like the best way to go about this.
I'm still trying to figure out how to improve my quality of life but I've come to the conclusion that I am making it so much harder on myself than I need to. There's no urgency (for me) to do this and there's no deus ex machina or magical item that will fix it all. (I am thinking of changing careers however, which I suspect will take a huge weight off.)
"All that's to say that making your illness or condition a defining part of who you are does not seem like the best way to go about this."
I think that sometimes, with the heightened awareness around mental health, there's a tendency to identify with whatever diagnoses you might have, and forget that you're so much more. It is helpful to know why you may experience certain things or why life may be harder for you, but also thinking of yourself in terms of your condition may also impose false limits or unneccessary suffering.
I love the fact that you're thinking about your career. One of the most important change I've personally made for my mental health is realising what kind of work environments drain me or make me miserable, and what kind allow me to be at my best while accommodating my quirks. I wish you best of luck!
At least in my personal experience; the real challenge lies in learning to take that objective viewpoint on the circumstances or other situation, etc.; prior to having a response originating in [anger, fear, disappointment] and fueled by, the instinctive negative emotions. If you can reason that the facts invalidate those emotions, great; and if not, in most cases you then proceed with certainty that your emotions are valid and in fact probably healthy and normal in that situation.
Personally I've found that once you can do that consistently; it really breaks the ceiling on a lot of self awareness and acceptance.
I like the way you put this, especially the idea that emotions can be valid, normal and healthy in the particular situation. Even if they appear irrational, uncontrollable, crazy or exaggerated, they do carry valuable signals and it's good practice to get curious and figure out what they're trying to say or where they're coming from, instead of villifying them. And as I believe you were saying, through self-awareness, self-acceptance becomes so much easier.
Thank you so much for this. I remember the exact moment I realized that my anxiety was not "healthy" when I was sharing my thoughts to a boyfriend one day and he looked at me with confusion and said, "Your brain sounds exhausting". I realized that even as a kid I had an obsession with doing everything right, being strong (I broke a wrist once without realizing it because of the shock, and played soccer for an hour before admitting I needed to go to the hospital).
However, I never thought of myself as mentally ill up until that point. I thought I'd feel better and that if I hadn't diagnosed it, I would've spontaneously combusted one day. Though it's true that some things make more sense now that I recognize what it is (stomach pain seemingly out of nowhere, feeling my brain shut off in crowded places, crying the moment someone asks if I'm okay), I don't feel better. I feel like there's something to fix. Instead of a quirky personality trait, I now have a medical condition that I need to take accountability for, find rhe right drug and/or therapist for, and upend my lifestyle with routine meditation, yoga, workouts, journaling, etc. for.
All that's to say that making your illness or condition a defining part of who you are does not seem like the best way to go about this.
I'm still trying to figure out how to improve my quality of life but I've come to the conclusion that I am making it so much harder on myself than I need to. There's no urgency (for me) to do this and there's no deus ex machina or magical item that will fix it all. (I am thinking of changing careers however, which I suspect will take a huge weight off.)
I wish you all luck.
This, right there, is so true:
"All that's to say that making your illness or condition a defining part of who you are does not seem like the best way to go about this."
I think that sometimes, with the heightened awareness around mental health, there's a tendency to identify with whatever diagnoses you might have, and forget that you're so much more. It is helpful to know why you may experience certain things or why life may be harder for you, but also thinking of yourself in terms of your condition may also impose false limits or unneccessary suffering.
I love the fact that you're thinking about your career. One of the most important change I've personally made for my mental health is realising what kind of work environments drain me or make me miserable, and what kind allow me to be at my best while accommodating my quirks. I wish you best of luck!
At least in my personal experience; the real challenge lies in learning to take that objective viewpoint on the circumstances or other situation, etc.; prior to having a response originating in [anger, fear, disappointment] and fueled by, the instinctive negative emotions. If you can reason that the facts invalidate those emotions, great; and if not, in most cases you then proceed with certainty that your emotions are valid and in fact probably healthy and normal in that situation.
Personally I've found that once you can do that consistently; it really breaks the ceiling on a lot of self awareness and acceptance.
I like the way you put this, especially the idea that emotions can be valid, normal and healthy in the particular situation. Even if they appear irrational, uncontrollable, crazy or exaggerated, they do carry valuable signals and it's good practice to get curious and figure out what they're trying to say or where they're coming from, instead of villifying them. And as I believe you were saying, through self-awareness, self-acceptance becomes so much easier.