Which part do you play in your psychological narrative?
Are you a character, hero or author in the story of your life?
The theory of narrative identity posits that we form our identities by integrating our life experiences into an internalised, evolving story. This enables us to make sense and meaning out of our lives.
And it’s not just a nice-to-have, either. According to Prof. Anil Seth, author of Being You: A New Science of Consciousness, what we think of as the self is wholly dependent on this experience of life as a narrative — with a thread of personal history behind us and a projected future, too.
So we’re living our lives as stories. Fine. But what kind of role are we playing within them?
Are you a Character?
Human beings are born helpless and dependent. We do not make resilient babies. And because of this starting point, it’s easy to take a somewhat powerless perspective forward and live our lives as if we’re mere characters in the story — written and directed by someone or something else.
This “character mindset” is known, in psychology, as having an external locus of control. That is, the belief life happens to us — that our successes and failures alike result from factors beyond our control.
In this place, we may think or say things like “He made me angry”, “She made me do it”, or “The weather’s bad, so I’m in a terrible mood.”
In short, it can be an incredibly stressful, uncomfortable way to live. But it’s important to note that this perspective is not a sign of moral failure or weakness. There are countless social, economic and cultural reasons why someone might not feel in control of their world.
Are you the Hero?
That said, it doesn’t have to be that way for any of us. In reaction to our inherent sense of powerlessness, we can — and often do — level up to Hero by fighting back.
The Hero is someone who isn’t afraid to go to battle to overcome the challenges life throws at them and change the world for the better.
Good.
But there’s a catch. To take on the role of Hero is to see everything as a test — failure is always just around the corner. Furthermore, if we choose to see life as a battle, then that means that there must always be an opponent. And all too often, we find that opponent within.
If you think about it, heroes slay monsters, dragons and evil goblins in order to save the helpless villagers. So if we apply this metaphor to inner lives, then we’ll surely be tempted to assume that our personal demons are things we need to obliterate. This is not only self-destructive; it’s impossible. You simply can’t fight yourself and win.
So what’s our third option?
The road to authorship
What if we choose to see ourselves not as the protagonists but as the authors of our stories? I’m not saying that we can magically manifest whatever we want in life because I just don’t believe that. But I do think that ownership is important and that’s what this third role is all about.
The Author embraces everything that happens to them and takes responsibility for creating something of meaning out of their experience.
Unlike the Character, the Author doesn’t blame the world. And unlike the Hero, they don’t seek an enemy in order to prove themselves. The Author’s goal is not to vanquish external problems or slay their inner demons, but to explore these things and make something wonderful out of them.
It’s not all roses, of course. The Author’s world is just as unpredictable and turbulent as the Character’s. But instead of trying to control external factors, they focus on what they can command: their own thoughts, feelings and behaviour, their creativity, purpose and drive.
In other words, the Author has an internal, rather than external, locus of control. They are at the other end of the agency spectrum.
Where do you sit on the continuum?
Of course, we can move between these perspectives in different situations, but you may have a default. A good way to work out which role is your go-to guy is to reflect on how you react when life gets tough.
Do you tend to feel powerless against adversity and ask “Why me?”
Character: Why is this happening to me?
Do you look for ways to combat the situation and force change?
Hero: Who/what can I fight to change this?
Or do you set about making lemonade out of your lemons?
Realistically, I don’t think many of us will take this final perspective universally, but we can surely all do with a little more authorship of our stories.
If you’d like to level up, here’s the question to ask:
Author: What can I make out of this?
So, which part do you play in your psychological narrative?
And how do you think you ended up playing this role? What would becoming an author of your story mean to you? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments!
Thank you for reading!
We’re Hazel (ex boxer, therapist and author) and Ellie (ex psychology science writer). We left our jobs to build an interactive narrative app for self-awareness and emotion regulation (Betwixt), which you can try on Android here and on iOS here.
I used to feel like the author of my life (and deep down I still believe I am), but since being late diagnosed with Autism & ADHD I am struggling with feeling like a character. I've lost a lot of the hope I used to have that I can write my story in the way I'd like it to go.
I would just like to say that your blogs are amazing. And this one did not disappoint. Such useful and well written content.
I probably played the character or heroic roles at some points in my life. But as I learned more about CBT, mindfulness, self care, and other coping mechanisms I have begun to see myself as more of an author of my life’s story.
I sometimes even find myself narrating my life as if I were explaining my thought processes to someone else.
Of course, there are some parts of my life where I am a character sometimes. But I am aware that having a pity party with myself is not the best act or the most useful. In some areas of my life I’m a superhero, overstretching myself and my resources to get vengeance for those who have wronged me.
But mostly I’m an author and my life is a work in progress.