Dec 27, 2023·edited Dec 27, 2023Liked by Ellie Dee
I used to feel like the author of my life (and deep down I still believe I am), but since being late diagnosed with Autism & ADHD I am struggling with feeling like a character. I've lost a lot of the hope I used to have that I can write my story in the way I'd like it to go.
I also got a late diagnosis of ASD and ADHD. I'd think I get you. The worst moments after my diagnosis were, when I've recollected in how many moments of my life spectrum got the best of me. But it also gave me understanding: In those moments I thought that I was broken. But it wasn't me. Just my neurons.
Give yourself time to grieve after diagnosis. You're not a character controlled by your neurons. You're so much more! And you're still an author of your life.
Ending, let me quote my therapist: "maybe you've got f***ed up cards to play on the start, but you learned to play them so well". I believe you can do the best out of your cards.
I would just like to say that your blogs are amazing. And this one did not disappoint. Such useful and well written content.
I probably played the character or heroic roles at some points in my life. But as I learned more about CBT, mindfulness, self care, and other coping mechanisms I have begun to see myself as more of an author of my life’s story.
I sometimes even find myself narrating my life as if I were explaining my thought processes to someone else.
Of course, there are some parts of my life where I am a character sometimes. But I am aware that having a pity party with myself is not the best act or the most useful. In some areas of my life I’m a superhero, overstretching myself and my resources to get vengeance for those who have wronged me.
But mostly I’m an author and my life is a work in progress.
This is such a beautiful reflection! Authorship can be so elusive and I think that most of us vacillate between being a character and surrendering to others' stories, or overcompensating by turning into heroes and ending up on constant high alert. It seems that you've come a long way and that's something to celebrate!
Thank you! It has definitely been a journey. As I reflect on this past year I can truly see how far I’ve come and that there is so much to celebrate! 🎉
I definitely identify with the Hero role: I fight myself or the circumstances at every turn, desperately trying to control them. But I’m trying to reorient to the Author role, and trying to be accepting and creative with what’s there. Some times are much easier than others.
It can be a struggle, I agree. A possible reason is that many of us have been brought up to glorify the Hero role. It's at the core of hustle culture, which still dominates large swaths of social life. But as long as we stay aware and try our best to not conform (and catch ourselves when we do), we're on the right path.
I used to feel like the author of my life (and deep down I still believe I am), but since being late diagnosed with Autism & ADHD I am struggling with feeling like a character. I've lost a lot of the hope I used to have that I can write my story in the way I'd like it to go.
I'm so sorry to hear this and I hope you can find your way back to authorship.
Thank you, I'm sure I will and I'm sure Betwixt will help me - I'm loving it :)
That's so good to hear. I wish you a rewarding inner journey!
Dear Sophie,
I also got a late diagnosis of ASD and ADHD. I'd think I get you. The worst moments after my diagnosis were, when I've recollected in how many moments of my life spectrum got the best of me. But it also gave me understanding: In those moments I thought that I was broken. But it wasn't me. Just my neurons.
Give yourself time to grieve after diagnosis. You're not a character controlled by your neurons. You're so much more! And you're still an author of your life.
Ending, let me quote my therapist: "maybe you've got f***ed up cards to play on the start, but you learned to play them so well". I believe you can do the best out of your cards.
Wish you love, Dawid
That's a great way of looking at it! Thank you, and much love back x
I would just like to say that your blogs are amazing. And this one did not disappoint. Such useful and well written content.
I probably played the character or heroic roles at some points in my life. But as I learned more about CBT, mindfulness, self care, and other coping mechanisms I have begun to see myself as more of an author of my life’s story.
I sometimes even find myself narrating my life as if I were explaining my thought processes to someone else.
Of course, there are some parts of my life where I am a character sometimes. But I am aware that having a pity party with myself is not the best act or the most useful. In some areas of my life I’m a superhero, overstretching myself and my resources to get vengeance for those who have wronged me.
But mostly I’m an author and my life is a work in progress.
This is such a beautiful reflection! Authorship can be so elusive and I think that most of us vacillate between being a character and surrendering to others' stories, or overcompensating by turning into heroes and ending up on constant high alert. It seems that you've come a long way and that's something to celebrate!
Thank you! It has definitely been a journey. As I reflect on this past year I can truly see how far I’ve come and that there is so much to celebrate! 🎉
I definitely identify with the Hero role: I fight myself or the circumstances at every turn, desperately trying to control them. But I’m trying to reorient to the Author role, and trying to be accepting and creative with what’s there. Some times are much easier than others.
It can be a struggle, I agree. A possible reason is that many of us have been brought up to glorify the Hero role. It's at the core of hustle culture, which still dominates large swaths of social life. But as long as we stay aware and try our best to not conform (and catch ourselves when we do), we're on the right path.