I have to admit, I was pretty disappointed to learn I am not a unicorn. 😄 I have done a lot of introspection and inner work, so I do have some deeper awareness. But I also tend to ask “why?” as opposed to “what?” Perhaps it’s a piece of the puzzle that will help me get past this point of stuck-ness I’ve been feeling in my personal journey. Thanks for this perspective shift!
You're welcome! And I think this is a very common experience and a lesson that many of us need to learn and re-learn, actually. We tend to believe that analysing why something happened is a hallmark of self-awareness, and it's all too easy to get stuck in this backward-looking perspective that may give us insight but no direction.
Oh, that's a really good point. And yes, tricky! I know I'm prone to battling problems by arming myself with information or analysing them to death. What's worked for me in these cases is that I can't believe my BS anymore, so when I catch myself delaying action, I know it.
Yes! I get stuck in that belief that if I just analyze every possibility enough, I’ll figure it out. I’m becoming more aware of that and practicing dropping it, but it’s sneaky!
Interesting. I do ask "what" a lot of the time but that's because "why" wasn't giving me the answers I needed. I used to sa, "why am I crying for no reason?" which felt bad and critical. Then I started thinking, "what could be influencing my mood right now?" which helped me notice patterns. If I don't eat enough or sleep enough, it's like I'm a different person. If I'm stressed about work, I try to recognize that and accept that I've just hit a limit and need to take a moment to rest. "Why?", to me, is how my insecurity sounds; it's projecting what I think other people could say to critisize me. "What" is an attempt to find a practical solution or insight.
I like your take a lot. Deconstructing the situation to look for patterns is actually really helpful. What I like to do is break it down into the trigger, then the thoughts and emotions following it, and finally, the problematic action. Then I can think of three windows of opportunity where I can intervene and cut the cycle short: avoid the triggering situations/people; catch myself when I'm triggered, and take action or reframe the situation to prevent the negative thoughts and emotions from taking over. Failing that, I still have a chance to respond differently if I can catch myself in the middle of a thought loop or an emotional spiral.
I have to admit, I was pretty disappointed to learn I am not a unicorn. 😄 I have done a lot of introspection and inner work, so I do have some deeper awareness. But I also tend to ask “why?” as opposed to “what?” Perhaps it’s a piece of the puzzle that will help me get past this point of stuck-ness I’ve been feeling in my personal journey. Thanks for this perspective shift!
You're welcome! And I think this is a very common experience and a lesson that many of us need to learn and re-learn, actually. We tend to believe that analysing why something happened is a hallmark of self-awareness, and it's all too easy to get stuck in this backward-looking perspective that may give us insight but no direction.
What’s really tricky is asking “what” in a way that isn’t just rewording a “why” question! ☺️
Oh, that's a really good point. And yes, tricky! I know I'm prone to battling problems by arming myself with information or analysing them to death. What's worked for me in these cases is that I can't believe my BS anymore, so when I catch myself delaying action, I know it.
Yes! I get stuck in that belief that if I just analyze every possibility enough, I’ll figure it out. I’m becoming more aware of that and practicing dropping it, but it’s sneaky!
Thank you for this article, it's good for thought! I have shared it with others already :)
Glad to hear that it's resonating!
Interesting. I do ask "what" a lot of the time but that's because "why" wasn't giving me the answers I needed. I used to sa, "why am I crying for no reason?" which felt bad and critical. Then I started thinking, "what could be influencing my mood right now?" which helped me notice patterns. If I don't eat enough or sleep enough, it's like I'm a different person. If I'm stressed about work, I try to recognize that and accept that I've just hit a limit and need to take a moment to rest. "Why?", to me, is how my insecurity sounds; it's projecting what I think other people could say to critisize me. "What" is an attempt to find a practical solution or insight.
I like your take a lot. Deconstructing the situation to look for patterns is actually really helpful. What I like to do is break it down into the trigger, then the thoughts and emotions following it, and finally, the problematic action. Then I can think of three windows of opportunity where I can intervene and cut the cycle short: avoid the triggering situations/people; catch myself when I'm triggered, and take action or reframe the situation to prevent the negative thoughts and emotions from taking over. Failing that, I still have a chance to respond differently if I can catch myself in the middle of a thought loop or an emotional spiral.